15 November, 2011

Bad Words & Victor Gets THE Talk

I found this post from back in May & I never finished it. There's a bit more that I can add to now.
This has been a week of suprises concerning the younger set. Miranda has decided to walk. She took her first steps 3 weeks ago & quit. She took 2 more at the library on Wed. The radio was playing a weird hillbilly version of the Macarena & the children saw that I was excited. The original song came out during my freshman year, the first year of school dances for me. Mike was less excited as he was remembering just finishing basic training & being stationed in Germany the same year. I couldn't remember all of the steps so we just did a silly dance, Miranda included. It wasn't enough for her to hold onto the table & bob side to side, she just loves the banjo. She would get up on her knees, one foot on the ground & throw herself, tummy first onto the floor, over & over like a broken frog.
Being Baby Kong.
She started up again last night, this time w/out the music, playing a game w/ Charlotte & just decided it was easier to walk, walked the whole length of the office to daddy! He was so pleased, as was I. Unlike the other 2, I didn't get a picture. I knew when they were going to, Mike swears Miranda has been walking in secret for a month now. She is my latest walker but has the best form initially, starting out.

Charlotte likes the "Bananna Fanna" song. We were doing the girls bath & naming random things.

"Daddy, daddy, bo baddy, bananna fanna fo faddy, me my mo maddy. Daddy!"

"We shouldn't sing that song, it's disrespectful." chimes in Victor walking by.

"There are things to sing about that aren't disrespectful." I said. "Let's sing about trees".

"Oak, oak, ba boke, bannana fanna fa foke, me my ma moke Oak!"

"Maple!" I call out "Maple, maple, bo baple bannanna fanna fo faple, me my mo maple. Maple!"

"Yucca!" sings Charlotte, very pleased w/ her knowledge of plant identification. "Yucca, yucca, bo bucca, bananna fanna..." my voice trailed off. Charlotte finished off loudly herself & looked apprehensivly at me.

"Lets sing about little teapots!"

Victor has been having some man-to-man talks w/ daddy, trying to persuade him to have another baby. Victor just loves babies, though he still doesn't have a concrete idea about where they come from. Mike told him when he (Victor) can start taking over my chores he would consider it, maybe when he's 8. (For some reason, 8 is a magical number for Victor. He was so upset when we got to it in our workbooks & he found out he had a hard time writing it.) We are in a busy season right now w/ lots of manual labor & I'm glad to be able to do it; Mike wasn't put out on a medical discharge for nothing. If he puts in a full or even a hard half day, he needs 4 days to recover.
All right, fast forward 5 months to the present. I think Victor actually knows where babies come from & I had to explain precious little. He just got the idea watching the roosters do their thing w/ the hens & if you've ever seen poultry love you'll know it's rarely consensual. He asked me "Why do the roosters do that to the hens so often?"

Now, I've explained the chickens using a King Solomon analogy, that they feel they need a lot of wives, but this was more pointed.

"The rooster is planting his seed into the egg so a baby chick can grow." I explained, holding my breath in dreaded anticipation of the next question. Sure enough.

"How does he get his seed into the hen?"

You might be as shocked & amazed as I was this year to learn that the mighty cock of the barnyard actually lacks a penis in any shape or form; he has a single multi-purpose vent just like the hen, just a different purpose.

"They match up vents." I answered as nonchalantly as I could.

And that was it! I don't know when he'll make the association to humans. I'm hoping he'll be talking to Mike then but I am glad that he can learn it in such a natural way.

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