31 August, 2009

7 Years




Now that I'm grown up, I love wedding stories. I like to attend, I even like to watch strangers marry on tv. Watching 2 souls join together by God gives me goosebumps. The 31st is our 7th anniversary. Now that we're both out of the army we can start living together all of the time; altogether out of 7 years due to deployments & schools we've probably only lived together about 4 & 1/2 years. Neither of us really remembers our wedding. I think we were in shock over actually getting married. Well...I was, he was terribly hung over.

I was 20 when Cid proposed over a friendly bottle of rum at a party. Certainly he didn't love me, or I him; he was very business like, pointing out that as a duel military couple we could double our income w/ allowances for housing & sustenance & my boyfriend was a cheating unprintable word. I couldn't defend that, he had cheated on me w/ Cid's girlfriend among other girls when Cid & I were deployed to Ak. He offered me an uncontested divorce at the end of my enlistment if I did so choose, no hard feelings. I (was sinfully very drunk) accepted on the conditions of no divorce, I wanted 2 children, 1 adopted & quizzed him on his family medical history. I accepted his hand, finished the bottle & went to the army boyfriend's room to make it official & call my highschool sweetheart to say that there would be no wedding for us. That is a whole other story.

I have no idea what I was thinking, only that I have always wanted to be married to prove I could stay married & no one else was offering as soon as I wanted. No one else really shared our...I don't know. We weren't full of joy as we weren't in love. However, we were in the same unit & that's not permissible for spouses; we had to sit through 6 different counselings, our chain of command all urging me not to marry him. I had a very promising career as a soldier & he had had some slip ups in the past. I made rank quickly & at the time honestly enjoyed it. I could keep up w/ the guys & in some respects even physically, pass them up. It's funny now & I praise God for the changes He's worked in me. I no longer believe women should be in the military at all, at the very least in segregated units. It is also illegal to marry for money & milk the system, though soldiers do it all the time so they can move from the barracks.

In a very quick 3 weeks we fell in like, we got an apartment, a joint bank account & I was moved to a Class A vessel w/ a deployment date. There is WAY more money just for that, you get seapay. We originally wern't going to tell our families until later. A week before our union I caved in & called dad. We have a very casual relationship. HE was thrilled. When Cid found out, he had to call his mom & then dad. To my horror all 3 sets immediately made plans to attend. So later that day I called mom to tell her I was getting married & it was just awful. There was no way she could get off work & come, please don't do it, make the same mistakes I did, etc. It was worse when she found out dad was coming. So she couldn't come which I did feel bad about, but we had to get married by the end of the month for all of the paperwork to go through before my deployment. It was, after all an arranged marriage for convenience.

Cid had scouted around for a wedding site & found one in the city park, The Peace Garden. It's kind of Japanese themed, but there were flowers everywhere, running water dyed blue, just very pretty. The day was cloudy & not too humid. My mother in law came over early to help me get ready which didn't take long; I splurged & wore eyeliner. She had bought me daisies & pink roses, my favorite bouquet. Dad & his wife showed up after driving all night. Cid stumbled in a little later begging for coffee. After he & everyone else had showered & changed we all drove over, Cid driving us in his Avenger.

I left my shoes in the car, since I had always wanted to be married barefoot. We got into our places & when dad was walking me over the bridge, a kind of roaring filled my ears. He was telling me something very important & sweet about when he & mom got married & I knew at the time that it was something I would treasure forever if I could only hear it. I never did. I couldn't hear the ceremony or appreciate any of it. Cid said I was shaking like a leaf & he was sure I was going to faint. I remember being annoyed by the amount of pictures being taken. I guess that's why people hire a photograher. Then we went back to our apartment to drink & eat sandwiches & german chocolate cake. Family either left for home or went back to their hotel rooms. Friends crashed in our living room on the floor since we had no furniture. Cid & I talked until we fell asleep. It was nice.

Over the next month we fell madly in love, but then I had to ship out. We kept in touch mainly through email or a phone call when I could get it in. All emails were printed out by the Commo guy & delivered by hand; that's how you got your email, under your stateroom door. I'm pretty sure he read everything too. I still have all of those emails, they're the way Cid & I really got to know each other. We decided that he would buy a bottle of wine for Christmas & we would drink it 5 Christmas's from now. We wanted to start our own traditions & he'd always had bad holidays, the low point next to our being separated was burying hundreds of dead Serbs in Bosnia. He doesn't talk of it, but I was eager to try to rectify it. I'd always enjoyed my childhood holidays though they always seemed rather strained in my youth.

Fast forward 3 years & it is now Cid who is in Kuwait & I'm open to the lies, deceptions & false traditions of the popish Christ-mass. So w/ 3 bottles collected, & no more Dec. celebration,we decided to switch them to August wine. Ha, I made a pun. Tomorrow we will be drinking a 2001 Bendigo Cabernet Sauvignon by Water Wheel Vineyards. Yes, I drink while pregnant, it is in moderation & preceded by about 3 glasses of water & maybe like every other month. I am convinced it was my 2 giant glasses of Merlot the night before in my 43rd week that finally started my labor w/ Victor. Not so much moderation there, but he had overstayed his welcome. Anyways, I'll let you know how it is.

In closing I would like to say that I strongly advocate arranged marriages. I pray that Cid & I will have a strong influence in our children's lives especially in their youth. I know it isn't the norm, but DV, we'll foster an atmosphere conducive to those kinds of conversations.

1 comment:

Cherishing Young Biblical Womanhood said...

I'm glad you're so much better. I was so sad for you, even my husband noticed and asked what was wrong. Praise God, I'm glad you're health is restored and you're feeling better. How is Victor? I know this trip was much more eventfull that you wanted it to be. I updated my profile to link to my new email address. It's home_instead@yahoo.com I should have been using a yahoo account from the start,this address shouldn't change. I'll call you this weekend. Talk to ya soon.